Okay, so the kids been 5 months for a couple of weeks now, but as usual we've been a bit busy. I decided to go ahead and let Toren start in on solids at 5 months as he seemed interested in the idea of eating. He's been a pretty good eater from the start, but we did have possible allergy issues come up. About half a week into rice cereal Toren broke out into a head to toe rash/eczema. Our pediatrician sent us to an allergist. The allergist did a scratch test for the typical food allergies plus rice, but Toren didn't show up positive for anything. However, I took him in to get blood drawn (not a lot of fun for either of us)for a blood test which is more accurate and we get the results back in a week. The allergist thought it might just possibly be that since he's a red head we can blame it on his sensitive skin. He told us to go ahead to continue to introduce him to solids and let him know if anything produces a similar reaction. So we've continued to introduce him to food, but we've held off on rice cereal as it seemed to create a rash again. He's enjoying, banana, apple, pumpkin, peas, and carrots at this point and I've enjoyed making his food. I figure that since I rarely cook for Justin and I, I could at least make Toren's food.

Toren has also started some not so fun teething lately which means that he's been waking up every couple of hours at night for the past three nights. Needless to say I'm quite exhausted from this. Luckily my mom has been in town so she's been helping me out with some of these sleepless nights. No teeth have broken through at this point but I'm sure some are coming. When not teething he's turned into quite a happy baby as long as he isn't to sleepy. As Justin has said, if we had just had video of what a happy baby he would become, it would have made those first few months a bit easier. He still doesn't like tummy time so doesn't do much rolling around unless forced to but I think he's getting quite close to sitting on his own as he'll sit for about 30 seconds or so before toppling over. He's also become quite the babbler and really enjoys shrieking.

In addition to my mom visiting we also got some visits from some out of town friends this past month who were here for a law school reunion. We even got to babysit one of our friends 3 month olds (well he actually slept most of the time). We also got to celebrate his first Halloween with a couple of Justin's high school friends and their families. Justin took Toren to a couple of houses...and picked up some candy for himself and to show off our cute bumble bee of course.

Last week we had a visit from our doula Cara Genesio. She came to visit with Toren and deliver our Birth Story. It was great to see her and it was also nice to read her version of our birth. There was already a lot that I had forgotten. Below is the story of Toren's birth from her perspective.


I had the honor of working as Anne and Justin’s birth doula for the arrival of their son, Toren. Because this birth story is written from my perspective, there are moments and events that are not included in this narrative, because I was not present.

Baby Toren was ready to make his arrival into the world several days in advance of his June 3rd due date. On Saturday, May 23rd, during the mid-morning hours, I received a call from Anne in which she explained that the pre-labor contractions that she’d been having off-and-on were starting to feel “different,” more frequent and more intense. They were beginning to organize themselves into somewhat of a regular pattern, although there was still a lot of unpredictability with the time in-between contractions. Anne and Justin had planned to drive to the west side of the state on Saturday to visit with family, and Anne said that she was pondering whether or not to cancel those plans. After talking about it for a bit, she said that her “gut” told her that it was better to cancel and take it easy around the house in Ypsilanti. The possibility of needing to drive across the state while in full-blown labor certainly didn’t sound very appealing!

I maintained phone contact with Anne and Justin throughout the day on Saturday and I was thrilled to hear that Anne was able to get quite a bit of rest despite the continuing contractions that she was experiencing. In between her attempts at napping, Anne and Justin also used another at-home method of getting labor started, and all of this relaxing time at home worked very well indeed!

As Saturday afternoon turned into evening, Anne reported by phone that her contractions were about 5-7 minutes apart, and she asked if I would join them at home. I was more than happy to, and we all settled in to watch The Kite Runner on the sofas in their living room. Anne was eating small meals of fruit, smoothies, and other little snacks, and the house lights were dim and mellow. The film, however, was not always very helpful in creating a relaxing mood; there was one moment in particular where a young boy (the main character) wondered whether his father despised him because his mother died in childbirth! Father answered “It’s a dangerous thing, being born—dangerous for the mother, dangerous for the child.” I had to say out loud, “Afghanistan, 1978” a couple of times just to place it all in context! We all had to laugh at that moment.

During the hours that we were watching the film, Anne’s contractions seemed to begin to focus in her lower back. Often, as she was sitting on the sofa, the start of a contraction would cause her to immediately turn into a hands-and-knees position, and I would use my hands for counterpressure at the base of her spine. Anne would breathe intensely and deeply, and it was clear that her contractions were becoming much more focused and painful. This was our first indication that back labor was to be a constant presence throughout the next several hours. At 11:30 PM, Anne had three very rapid contractions during a trip to the bathroom, and she had a lot of mucous discharge. At around midnight, after a couple of discussions with Dr. Popp via phone and much intensifying of contractions, Anne and Justin decided to make the trip to St. Joe’s; her contractions were about 4 minutes apart at this time, and they felt ready to make the move.

Upon our arrival in St. Joe’s Triage room at 12:15 AM on Sunday, Anne had her first cervical check—her cervix was 3 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and Toren’s head was at a -1 station in her pelvis. Labor was definitely progressing, but not to the point yet to check-in to a room. Anne, Justin and I left the Triage room together to walk the halls of the birthing unit for about an hour. From 12:40-1:40 AM we walked together; Anne would lean against the railing at the side of the hall when the contractions came, and I would apply counter-pressure to her back. For several contractions in a row, she developed a tapping rhythm with her fingernails along the railing in the hallway—it was a tapping at about the pace of a heartbeat, a quiet drumming sound that provided a focal point for the sustaining effort of working through the contractions. Justin would lean in very close to her head, touching her shoulder with his and breathing with her. I carried a metal bowl, our “just in case” bowl if Anne’s nausea returned (she had had some nausea in Triage). Anne made a couple of stops in the bathroom along the way, and she reported a lot more bleeding than she had seen before; the contractions also increased to two-minute intervals during this time. She and Toren were making progress, for sure!

At 2:05 AM, Anne’s cervix was checked again by the resident on-call, Dr. Johnson; her cervix had progressed to between 4 and 5 centimeters dilated, 90% effaced, and 0-station! Fantastic news! Just after her cervical check, Anne was sitting upright in bed and reported that she suddenly felt wet—her water had broken on its own at 2:25 AM. We gathered our things and took the walk down the hall together to the L&D room, stopping and standing for Anne’s contractions along the way. Anne’s first labor nurse, Danielle, joined us for this walk down the hall.

Once we arrived in the labor room, Anne sat upright in bed for many of her contractions, and stood for others. It was clear that her back labor was very, very strong, and it took a tremendous amount of focus to breathe through the back pain. It was remarkable to watch Anne work with her contractions during this whole time; she would close her eyes, drop her chin down towards her chest, and loosely grip a bed rail or the edge of a sheet. One aspect of this time in the labor room proved to be an unexpected challenge: the placing of the Heplock and drawing some of Anne’s blood. Perhaps due to her nausea and vomiting earlier, the nurses found it difficult to access a vein; in and of itself, this would have been challenging enough. Something that proved particularly difficult, however, was the hospital staff’s discussion of the difficulty they were having. (Justin expressed after the end of the labor that he wished they would have kept all that discussion to themselves; he felt it greatly increased the level of stress in the room.) Anne’s courage and tenacity through all this was remarkable; she was not able to freely choose her position, but still she remained strong and determined, sitting upright when she could, opening her pelvis by sitting cross-legged, and leaning forward whenever possible to relieve some of the pressure from the focused pain at the base of her spine. It was remarkable to watch her focus and concentration sustain through this challenging portion of her labor. After about 90 minutes, after the Heplock was placed, the nurses stopped trying to draw blood, and instead gave Anne some IV fluid to perhaps help hydrate her, thus making the blood drawing process easier.

At about 3:50 AM, Anne had another cervical exam, and she had progressed to 6.5-7 cm; Toren’s head had also moved much more deeply into her pelvis. His lower position might have contributed to the continuing intensification of Anne’s back labor, and she made the decision to request an epidural for pain relief at this time. The anesthesiologist, Dr. Klimek, placed the epidural quickly and also drew Anne’s blood while he was in the room. During the time that he was placing Anne’s epidural, he also noted a mole on Anne’s back that he though she should get checked (I learned after Toren’s birth that she did indeed get it checked, and thank goodness! It was an early-stage melanoma, and it was safely removed). At 4:20 AM on Sunday morning, after Anne’s epidural began working, we turned off the lights in the room and Anne and Justin quickly fell asleep under their blankets.

At 6:15 AM, Anne’s cervix was checked, and she had progressed to a “stretchy” 8 cm dilated. Dr. Popp noticed a small bulge of fluid ahead of Toren’s head; although Anne’s water had broken, there was still a bit of fluid contained by an unbroken part of the membrane. Dr. Popp ruptured this bulge of fluid to see if that might encourage more progress. Anne was starting to feel a “bowel movement” sensation with contractions at this point, which continued to build over the next couple of hours. Anne shifted her weight from side-to-side, and she kept moving her body’s position as the contractions continued intensifying. She also kept herself in a semi-upright position, which surely helped bring Toren down even deeper through her pelvis.

At 7:00 AM, Anne’s new nurse, Donna, began her shift, and Dr. O’Leary came on call as Dr. Popp’s shift ended. Dr. O’Leary checked Anne’s cervix at 7:35, and gave the wonderful news that she was 9 cm dilated, with just a lip of cervix at the top (an “anterior lip”) that still needed to open up and away. At 8:20 AM, Anne changed her position to her hands-and-knees to attempt to relieve the back pain that was becoming more intense as time passed. She rested her belly on a bean bag in the bed, and rested her head against her arms on top of a pillow. Justin stood at her head, stroking her hair and cheek, and providing quiet verbal encouragement and constant, light touch.

Finally, at 9:05 AM, Anne’s cervix had fully dilated and Toren’s head was at a +1 station! Very soon after this cervical check, however, Anne’s uterus contracted and held on—the contractions did not fade, and Dr. O’Leary gave Anne a dose of terbutaline to release her uterine muscles and give both Anne and Toren a break. Toren’s heart rate dropped during this period, and Anne had to shift quickly into three different positions to try to release the pressure that was building around Toren. The terbutaline worked very quickly and Toren’s heart rate immediately stabilized; Dr. O’Leary later pointed out that this difficult moment demonstrated how healthy Toren actually was, because his heart rate did exactly what it should do in a moment like this. His heart rate’s reaction to the intense, unyielding contraction was a reflection of his strength and resilience.

Anne said that she felt an incredible surge of energy as she began pushing, and she was able to squat in bed, push on her hands and knees, and move her body into whatever position she wished because the epidural had not blocked the sensation from her feet or lower legs. Anne’s face looked joyful and elated as she began pushing, and it was remarkable to see. Anne said, however, that the intensity of her pushing contractions had begun to fade, and she was not feeling the urge to push as strongly as she had felt them before—it felt like her contractions were becoming less effective over time, despite the upright positions and movements that she was using to move her pushing stage forward.

At 11:10 AM, after she had been pushing for two hours, Anne took a break from her efforts—exhaustion was setting in, and it was clear to her that the contractions were fading. Her care providers suggested a dose of Pitocin to encourage the return of the contractions. Dr. O’Leary rejoined us in the labor room shortly after the Pitocin was started, and she spoke directly and calmly to Anne about what her hopes were; she said she was interested in “directing” Anne’s pushing efforts more than she had before, and she asked Anne to focus in on her words and her touch as a way of guiding each push and each contraction. Justin stood by Anne’s head, I held Anne’s left leg, and Donna held Anne’s right leg, and we all joined in the quiet focus on each contraction as it came and went. Soon, Anne started to feel the intensity of the contractions building again.

At 1:00 in the afternoon, after Anne’s pushing stage had lasted for almost four hours (her cervix was checked and found to be 10 cm dilated back at 9:05 AM), Dr. O’Leary raised the possibility of using forceps to help Anne birth Toren. Dr. O’Leary explained how she used the forceps and the decisions and adaptations that she made whenever she used them, if needed. Anne and Justin listened quietly to her words, and a few tears were shed during these difficult moments, but they decided that Dr. O’Leary’s suggestion to use forceps was a path that they would try in order to avoid a Cesarean birth, if at all possible. Anne and Justin’s determination at this moment was extraordinary; they were quiet and peaceful, despite the difficulties and fears that were understandably associated with a decision like this.

At about 1:30 PM on Sunday, May 24th, Anne began her last few pushes with her labor support team surrounding her. Dr. O’Leary assisted her pushing efforts with the forceps for the last two pushes, and Anne gathered all her strength to push with as much effort and energy as she had had all day. It was a beautiful thing to watch her bring Toren into the world. He was born at 1:38 PM on the 24th, and he weighed 6 lbs. and 14 oz. He was 20.25 inches long, and very, very blond (or perhaps strawberry blond?) from the very start! Within the first hour after his birth he was nursing in his mother’s arms.

I am deeply appreciative to Anne, Justin and Toren for having the opportunity to be present through this amazing labor and birth. It’s an honor, and a day that I’ll never forget. Thank you.

A couple of weeks ago my brother, Aaron, AKA Uncle P (his chef nickname I think short for Sweat Pea) came to visit Toren for the first time. It was a great visit and he Toren really hit it off. I was pleasantly surprised to see how in tune my brother actually is with babies. His "other family" (one of his colleges families that he frequently hangs out with) has three kids that I knew he had baby sat in the past, but this was the first time I really got to see my brother in action. We threw him right into the fire the first night he was here and had him baby sit Toren while I was in class and Justin went to a meeting. He's actually only the second baby sitter we've had other than my mom who claimed that she was "too old for this" when we came home after a night out. In her defense that was during the first six weeks. Uncle P did great and in addition to helping us out with babysitting he also took Justin out to a Tigers/Twins game (one of the ones they actually one) and joined us for a brewery tour of west Michigan. We hit up four breweries in one day - Founders in Grand Rapids, Bells in Kalamazoo, Arcadia in Battle Creek, and Dark Horse in Marshall - not bad for one day. We thought it was never too soon to introduce our wee one to quality beer. Click on the album below to see photos from Uncle Ps visit.

I finally have put photos from Toren's 2nd and 3rd month up on Picassa. Most of these have been put onto Facebook already, but for the non Facebook fools, click on the photo albums below:

Tuesday September 29th

Toren hit the 4 month point last week and things are going fairly well. His 4 month appointment went well yesterday despite the ouchy shots. He is now 60th percentile for height and 20 percentile for weight. The doctor isn't too concerned about the weight percentile being some what low, but Toren definitely doesn't have those typical 4 month old rolls. Toren is getting a lot more fun all the time as he started smiling a lot more and has become more engaging. He's become quite the talker and drooler also --no teeth yet though. He's still not a fan of breast feeding so I'm still pumping during the day and bottle feeding and then breast feeding at night when he's too tired to object. For sleeping at night we've officially abandoned the car seat after a recent study was published that showed that oxygen levels dropped in infants sleeping in car seats. He was pretty upset about it at first as he was really attached to his car seat and enjoyed hanging out in it not just in the car and for sleeping but sometimes wanted to hang out in it when he was feeling cranky or even to feed when he was in a "don't touch me" mood. He finally got adjusted to sleeping without the car seat and back to sleeping until 5am when I disrupted his schedule by spending a week at my Grandparent Fowler's last week. He decided to carry out a boycott on napping and start sleeping like a newborn again. It was extra fun considering I was sick with a cold which he came down with for about 24 hours also. His first cold and a fever to go along with it which was bit unnerving, but he quickly recovered (much quicker than I did).


We enjoyed the visit with my Grandparents even if we didn't get a lot of sleep and spent a lot of time running back and forth to visit Grandpa Fowler whose been in a skilled nursing facility at the hospital since he came down with pnemonia a month ago. Toren charmed all the people at the facility with his smiles and gigiling. He's become a real people person of late! However, Toren didn't enjoy all the driving around and has now learned to hate his car seat and officially learned the back arching technique last week to make straping him into his car seat more difficult.

We also got to see P-Pa (my Dad) this past month when he came up for a visit. We enjoyed his visit and I know he enjoyed hanging out with Toren also. My Parents have now officially moved to Gainesville, Flordia after 15 years in Texas. My father has take a new position with the medical school at Florida State University. My Dad is excited about becoming at Gator and my Mom is excited to explore a new geographic area. I'm sure we'll be visiting Florida this winter. The drive is a bit shorter than to Texas. Which will be nice with trying to drive with an infant.

As for me...I'm definitely tired of being tired. After years of avoiding caffeine I've picked the coffee addiction back up as it seems to be the only way to get through the day these days. However, Toren's smiles definitely help make up for the lack of sleep and I really am enjoying being a Mommy and Justin is definitely enjoying the Daddy role. Work is going well though I think I may have spent more time on vacation the past month than at work with all visiting of family. I have a lot of vacation time that I have to use up this year and this is a slower time of year at work so this has worked out okay. I've also been back in the study mode this Fall as I'm taking an evening class as part of my Evening MBA program at UofM. I decided to take only 1 class this fall though instead of the usual 2 so that I'm not away from Toren as much. As always, I'm staying busy!

Well we officially survived our month up North with Toren. Other than the drama with my health, things went pretty smoothly overall, but we're glad to be back home and are working on getting settled in here. Our last few weeks up North we tried to get in a few more "firsts" for Toren. We took him on his first trip to Lake Michigan with a trip to Sturgeon Bay. He did a good job hanging out under the umbrella in his bouncy chair listening to the waves. Mommy got a nice cold swim in and even though I was pretty sure he wouldn't like it, I dipped Toren's toes in. Indeed he thought it was way too cold! We also took Toren on his first bike ride in the kiddy carrier. There is a nice rail to trail system that runs from Gaylord to Mackinaw City and was smooth enough to take our road bikes on. We jumped on the trail in Indian River and rode for about 10 miles. It was beautiful and Toren seemed to enjoy napping in his cart. It was a good sign as we hope to enjoy a lot more bike riding together.



After we left the North Country Justin dropped Toren and I off at his mom's house in Canadian Lakes were we spent a few days hanging out on the lake and relaxing. Dexter was already there so Toren got to get reunited with his furry older brother. It was a great visit and Toren got his first "swimming" experience. The lake was much warmer than Lake Michigan and he seemed to really enjoy it. He seems to really like water when its warm enough as he's really started to like bath time. Lot's of kicking and splashing now when he's in his tub.
Now we're back home trying to get back into the swing of things here and making up for a month of neglect at the house. We're sad to see summer winding down but it is nice to be back on our home turf. I'll be trying to work from home two days a week (assuming I can get work done) so that I can spend a little more time with Toren. It is kind of sad to go all day with out seeing him now when I got use to visitng him through out the day at the Station.